Rainbow Families Launch Parenting Guide For Transgender Parents.

In my capacity as Ambassador of The Gender Centre I was invited to speak at Rainbow Families’ event held at Sydney Park last Sunday May 26th to help launch their new Trans and Gender Diverse Parents Guide.

The guide was created by Rainbow Families because there was no resource available to help trans and gender diverse parents and their young families

The organisation self funded the book and launched the guide at their major annual International Family Equality Day Event at Sydney Park.

To download the Trans and Gender Diverse Parents Guide click here: https://www.rainbowfamilies.com.au/trans_and_gender_diverse_parents_guide_released?fbclid=IwAR0RL07EiopO5aSOEhjH7tA87SGyS3MxUhPUZRtUrFqy6Pz3tZiGLrz0aa8

Below is the transcript of my speech.

My name is Katherine Wolfgramme, I have come in my capacity as The Ambassador of the Gender Centre, Australia’s oldest peak trans related welfare organization serving transgender children , youth, adults and Trans Seniors, their families and partners. Around areas ranging from casework, counselling, peer support groups, advocacy, and emergency and transitional housing for the last 37 years.

I would look like to begin my speech by reading you a message from the Director of the Gender Centre, Phinn Borg

 “Parenting is difficult at the best of time. Parenting as a trans parent is a whole other level of challenge and complexity. So, I would like to acknowledge your hard work. Your love and dedication. Being trans is hard. Facing discrimination. Trying to get on with life when sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk out the front door. When you’re a trans parent you have to be brave enough to face discrimination, while also finding a way to be the best you can for your child or children.”

Phinn Borg, Director of The Gender Centre

As Ambassador I would like to say that we at the Gender Centre congratulate you on the launch of the Trans and Gender Diverse Parents Guide, we believe this is a thoughtful, informative and generous initiative and The Gender Centre’s door is always open to all gender diverse people and their families.

International Family Equality Day Picnic 2019

For those of you who do not know me, I am also an outgoing board member of Wear It Purple, and  in-coming Board Associate of The Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, columnist at Star Observer and award winning Gender Diversity Consultant and Trans Activist….. In my spare time… I can be found on the weekends among my people working at Stonewall Hotel.

I am 47 years old and I transitioned nearly thirty years ago, next year will mark 30 years as Katherine, and in that time, I have witnessed great changes both socially and fundamentally for the LGBTI Community.

Never once did I imagine I would come and  speak at  an event where people from my own gay family have real children, and children on the way.

Never did I imagine that I would see a time when I personally could legally marry, have children or have any equal rights for that matter. I have done neither, but it feels wonderful that it is now recognized as my choice now.

I did not foresee anti-vilification and anti-discrimination  laws would be specifically written to protect transgender people, nor did I ever expect to see transgender employment equality or trans related policy changes in the work place or transgender identifying children openly access education – or live to see a day where their parents stand by them and protect them.

We live in very modern times, and we have come so far.

To understand this renaissance for transgender people, we must rewind 30 years and see what Gay & Lesbian people were doing. Some of you here may remember this time, and I ask that you please forgive me as I continue in the third person, but they were going through the same levels of growth then, that we the transgender population are going through now. Thirty years ago our rainbow allies were fighting for employment equality and the right to be legally recognized as equal.

Now that you are strong, our Gay & Lesbian Allies have come forward to empower the trans populations by providing support, empowerment and giving us a platform to be heard. And most importantly an equal place in our beautiful LGBTI Community – this is what I understand to be the definition of inclusion.

And a beautiful example of inclusion is the program Rainbow Families are launching today specifically tailored to support transgender people who are parents with children. On a side note – and not as an ambassador, but as a human, speaking with other humans, I would like to say Thank You. Thank you for including transgender people whether child or parent and their families into your groups, and thank you supporting us and including us.

Strong Families Are Built On Solid Ground. Our Roots run Deep and Our Branches Spread Far and Wide to Catch the Sun So We Can Nourish and Bear Our Much Yearned For Fruit, Planted With and Protected by Our Love.

I would like to lastly finish by saying that I am so proud of all of you and the families that you have created against all odds, I send you my love and my strength, and if there is anything that I can do, please reach out to me and if it is in my power, I will do anything that I can to help. 

Congratulations, all of you for launching the Trans and Gender Diverse Parents Guide, and Happy International Family Equality Day.

What does IDAHOBIT mean to me?

I believe IDAHOBIT aka International Day Against Homophobia Biphobia Inter-sexism and Transphobia is an important day to bring into focus the phobias and discriminations the LGBTI populations still face today.

Australia has just had a federal election, phobias are one of the campaign tools conservative parties use to scare people into voting for them mainly using transgender children and gay children the main focus to scare parents whose children are at school, this is a perfect example of phobias being used against our community.

Another example was the Marriage Equality Campaign – it was a time our whole community, including youth and children were held up to age old discriminations and phobias during the campaign, causing most of the LGBTI population to suffer minority stress.

To understand how to conquer phobias against the LGBTI Community we must look at the word phobia, phobia means fear, fear comes from things we do not understand, so to help people understand we must educate- to break down the fears around their phobias.

IDAHOBIT is a day when those that can, come forward to educate those who might not understand in the hope of breaking down fears towards the LGBTI Community.

I was honoured to speak at four IDAHOBIT Events, Ashurst, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Clifford Chance and Qantas.

Ashurst is one of the “Big Six” law firms in Australia and ranks 25 globally, it was a pleasure to sit on a panel with people who are creating change and continue to break down barriers for LGBTI people in Australia at The Ashurst IDAHOBIT Breakfast.

At lunch I was guest speaker at The Bank of America Merrill Lynch IDAHOBIT Lunch. Bank of America is America’s preeminent Financial Institution and is one of the leading banks of the world.

I delivered my Trans Awareness Programme that was streamed live to their 12 Head Offices in the APEC region including China, Taiwan, Singapore and Tokyo finishing with an internationally interactive Q&A. I believe this is how true change occurs and I look forward to creating greater understanding internationally in the future.

Bank of America Merril Lynch

In the afternoon I had the pleasure of speaking at Clifford Chance, Clifford Chance one of the “Big Six” law firms in Australia and ranks number 10 Globally.

I spoke about my experiences accessing legal services in the last 30 years since my transition, and the impacts and positive change pro bono work can have on minority communities, and also legal issues still facing the Transgender Population in Australia.

On the following Monday I had the pleasure of Speaking at Qantas’ Head Quarters for their IDAHOBIT Event, Qantas is Australia’s Flagship Airline ahead of their exciting new trans policy changes which will help support trans employees in the work place.

A wise person once said to me “just by existing do we create change”, and never more so do I believe this to be true, I am now fortunate to be in a position to help create change for my community for generations to come.

I end this post the same way I ended every event on IDAHOBIT, by saying:

Be Kind, Be Kind to All Humans, Not Just Some Humans.

Katherine Wolfgramme

For this month’s Gender Whisperer column, Katherine Wolfgramme speaks with Equality Australia’s Director of Engagement, Aram Hosie.

‘It’s worth it for every time a trans person tells me I make them feel less alone’: Aram Hosie

Aram Hosie

In his own words, Aram is “a queer trans guy in his mid-thirties”. He and him pronouns work for him, though he also happily answers to they and them. He is a parent (of both the human and dog variety), a partner, a guncle, a community advocate and a very occasional model. Aram likes lifting heavy weights while listening to loud electronic dance music, and, thanks to his son, he’s developed a nerdy enjoyment of Marvel superheroes and LEGO.

What do you do for work?

I’m incredibly lucky to be the Director of Engagement with Equality Australia – our country’s first national legal advocacy and campaigning organisation for LGBTIQ+ issues. We very much operate from the belief that after marriage equality, we have a responsibility to ensure that we protect the rights we’ve won and amplify the voices of those who do not yet enjoy full equality. This of course especially applies to trans and gender diverse people, and so I feel that it is right and important for me, as an out trans person, to be deeply involved in this work.

When did you transition?

I transitioned 13 years ago, in my early twenties when I was still living in Western Australia. I was incredibly lucky – the GP that I saw at my university medical clinic had supported a number of previous patients to transition, so when I said that I wanted to, she knew exactly how to support that. My medical transition was really the straightforward part; what I hadn’t realised would be more complicated was the social transition – everything from choosing my new name to learning how to navigate a very gendered world in a now-male presenting body. I was really lucky throughout this process – my partner at the time and my friends were patient, supportive and accepting of me, as was my employer. The response of people around you when you transition is what makes all the difference.

Did you have any role models growing up?

I grew up inside a fundamentalist Christian religion that almost borders on a cult. I went through conversion therapy as a teenager, and lived a life that was pretty cut off from the rest of the world, so no I didn’t have any role models as I grew up – all the adults I could see were utterly removed from who I knew myself to be.

You’re very involved in politics and activism. What achievements in the trans community are you most proud of so far?

I’m proud of being brave enough to be really visible as a trans person. It wasn’t really my decision initially – my partner when I transitioned was Senator Louise Pratt, and so there was no hiding that she had a girlfriend who was now her boyfriend. But from that moment onwards I’ve made the conscious decision to keep being really visible, especially in mainstream media, even though that means the loss of my own privacy. It’s worth it though, for every single time the parent of a young trans or gender diverse person tells me that seeing me gives them hope for their child, and for every time a trans or gender diverse person tells me that seeing me makes them feel less alone.

Do you think gender diverse people are still misunderstood, and how do you think we could help change this?

I think we’re more known than we were – I remember I spent a lot of time explaining to people that I was transitioning from female to male, and yes, that is a thing – when I first transitioned over a decade ago. I’m not sure that visibility has directly contributed to increased understanding, though. I think we’ve made progress, but there is still a lot of ignorance, misunderstanding, and fear. And I think the only way to respond to this is through ongoing conversation, dialogue and education, and with more and more trans and gender diverse people standing and being visible – if it’s safe and okay for them to do so, of course.

Do you have any words of wisdom for young people who are just beginning their transition?

Don’t be afraid – it’s going to be alright. You’ll find people who will love, accept and want to have sex with you, and being trans is actually pretty cool and something you can come to be proud of. Be patient and enjoy the journey – it’s going to take you longer to really arrive in yourself and your manhood then you think, so give yourself time, and let it just evolve. You don’t have to “be” any particular way, you will find out who you are over time. Look after you – you’re actually not invincible and being visible, being involved in advocacy and dealing with other people’s shitty responses sometimes will add up and take its toll. Pay attention to your mind and your body and get support, take breaks and invest the time and the effort in doing the things that keep you happy and well.

Full article: http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/national-news/its-worth-it-for-every-time-a-trans-person-tells-me-i-make-them-feel-less-alone-aram-hosie/182026

Open Letter by Trans Pioneer in Australian Sport Ricki Coughlan

I so value the wisdom of my gender diverse elders, an insight into our past gives much perspective to our future. I found Ricki Coughlan’s post so profound I had to share her wisdom. Ricki won the right to be recognised as a woman in sport at a time when equality for transgender people was just a pipe dream.

In 1980 I would never have dreamed that there would be a trans flag much less a thing called the internet, social media and a trans flag emoji 🏳️‍⚧ We’ve come a long way, but we have also come nowhere. I first met transgender people in 1980-81 in a small room at the top of some stairs in the Kings Cross Wayside Chapel. This was in a group convened by Roberta Perkins. She had formed this group as an opportunity for trans folk to share, support each other and perhaps begin to work towards practical solutions for the struggles which many of them faced.

The stories in that I heard in that tiny room were appalling. Those trans women barely had lives at all. All were on the verge of homelessness. All were unemployed and had no products. All were struggling even with social security. All were struggling with any government office. None had any form of useful form of identification. All were rejected by their families and children. All were battling with their personal gender dysphoria and the ignorance of the wider community (the term “transphobia” didn’t exist back then). All were struggling in one way or another with professional medical support. There was nowhere for these women to turn to other than that small fortnightly or monthly gathering.

In those days I gather that there was the “show girl” trans community, the sex worker “community” and a very small urban community of trans women. Trans men were a total anomaly as far as I knew and I didn’t meet one until 1983. If “non binary” trans folk existed, I was totally unaware of this but I’m guessing that each of these individuals who felt that they could be at all out may have gravitated to various gay, trans or queer communities in search of comfort, community and support.

Since those days we have seen the emergence of laws which favour and support trans folk. We’ve seen the emergence of the trans community and its joining with the LGB community in a much more formalised fashion. We’ve seen greater understanding in science, which confirms the experiences of trans folk. We’ve seen the emergence of a greater understanding of the nature of gender and medical support for increasingly younger trans folk. We’ve seen the growth of reasonably funded support networks. We’ve seen guidelines in most states for the integration of trans children into our schools and we’re now beginning to see those trans children come out into the wider community were some are even celebrated in a time of growing welcome for trans folk. We’re headed in the right direction on many fronts.

However, trans kids are still slipping through the net of support because we don’t have officially supported trans specific education in our schools (though watch this space, as I know that there are exciting developments coming in this area!). Many if not all trans folk are dealing with the lessons about gender and social disapproval for those who don’t fit gender norms from very early in life. At least some of our pain is what others have made us believe about ourselves: that we’re wrong, broken, evil, contemptuous, dirty, fit for nothing but shame. We need to change this narrative and tear down the norms which produce it.

There is still much work to be done in sport. This is a space where transphobia or at least an ignorance of so many things converging around a trans folk, fairness, inclusion, physiology, sex and gender still challenge many, reflecting in many log jams.

Later transitioning folk are still battling with their own inner demons, gender dysphoria, family issues and community and political attitudes. This is not a space where I am qualified to add very much, apart from saying that I see these folk and lament that we have not made much progress in this area. Of course, what we need is actual leadership in our political community for a start – instead of the stoking of othering and transphobia from too many circles. Proper leadership would render many of the bad attitudes towards trans folk as something to be frowned upon and regretted. Meanwhile, in this space nothing has changed in the almost 40 years since I first nervously climbed those steps in the Wayside Chapel and met those older trans women.

I’ve witnessed forty years of baby steps in this struggle but, whilst recognising that much more needs to be done, we have seen massive change, making vast numbers of lives much better. Each of those small changes will continue to add to the aggregate of change and hopefully make the lives of all trans folk a smoother and happier journey where they can all reach for their full potentials.

So now we have the trans flag emoji. Perhaps it signifies all of those aggregated baby steps as much as the work which lies ahead but let’s enjoy the moment and post it with hope and pride

Ricki Coughlin – image curtesy Facebook.

Podcast Interview for Jana Firestone at The Curious Life

I thoroughly enjoyed being interviewed by my dear friend Jana Firestone for her podcast on her website http://www.thecuriouslife.net.

It is always a joy to speak with old friends and it is always easier to discuss personal things and draw on old memories.

Link to Podcast: https://www.thecuriouslife.net/podcast/episode/28e8e14e/the-trans-experience-with-katherine-wolfgramme?fbclid=IwAR2Y_yL24f5uzPJOwlE_QVmjznyPHk0Dm-1MHHA9XOlPjFQUknSB6mm1qZ0

What International Transgender Day of Visibility means to Me.

On Sunday March 31, 2019 Trans Communities and their allies around the world will observe Transgender Day of Visibility.

Many Gender Diverse Communities will do different events and media presentations on the day.

Two very different events will be held in Sydney on Sunday, one a rally and protest march staged by Queer Community activist group Pride In Protest, the other will be a peaceful get together hosted by Trans Pride Australia for the Gender Diverse Community and their allies.

“For me, TDOV represents a day where my identity is acknowledged and I can reflect on a time when it was a struggle just to be myself, it is also a time where I can come together with my community to celebrate our diversity and share our stories.”

President and founder of Trans Pride Australia Peta Friend
Trans Pride Australia Event

As for myself, Trans Day of Visibility is important because it is a day that we, the transgender population and our allies let the world know that transgender people exist – being a somewhat invisible and misunderstood community, people tend to forget about us, our plights and issues that many gender diverse people face daily, and International Trans Day of Visibility gives us a platform to let the world know we are here.

And we are not going anywhere.

Katherine Wolfgramme
The Trans Pride Flag

For further information about ITDOV please follow the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Transgender_Day_of_Visibility

Podcast for Joy 94.9 FM

I find myself talking more and more about my life, next year I will have been trans exactly 30 years, it has been an incredible journey – and I hope my experiences, whether good or bad will help someone in the future.

It has just occurred to me that you may never have heard my voice…

Podcast interview with William Brougham for Joy 96.9 FM Radio:

Click here to listen

Turning Fear into Understanding

It was a privilege to speak with a delegation of doctors and nurses from rural areas about my experiences seeking medical treatment over the last thirty years as a transgender woman, looking back we have come so far, yet I can see we still have some way to go.

Thank you ALBION STREET CENTRE for putting on such an important event to help create understanding for gender diverse people across NSW.

This will help create true change.

Katherine Wolfgramme addressing medical services delegates at Albion Centre in Sydney

With  Dr Mel and Maggie Smith, trainers at Albion Centre in Sydney

The Gender Whisperer interviews Norrie

This month in Star Observer’s monthly Column “The Gender Whisperer” Katherine Wolfgramme interviews Non-binary trans activist and South Sydney Herald cartoonist Norrie

Norrie has a bubble machine on their bicycle, and they say hearing kids call out “bubble lady” gives them great joy. They don’t correct the kids on using incorrect gendered pronouns, though. They’re just happy to be recognised as a part of their world.

What are your preferred pronouns?

My favourite Norman Gunston moment in Celebrity Squares was when he was asked what ‘she’ referred to in the expression “there she blows”. He replied, “the cat’s mother, and it’s very bad manners”. In public discourse I’m happy with gender neutral pronouns like ‘they’ or ‘them’, or even feminine pronouns, as long as there are no imposed assumptions about reproductive biology coming along with them.

How did you decide on your name?

Before I transitioned, I adopted my middle name, and legally shed my old first and last names. It was linked to my housemate in 1984, who was a computer programmer and only had one name – I think it’s the life mission of computer programmers to make life difficult for other computer programmers; silly computers, programmed to ask for more than one name, when some people only have one. Maybe we were just trying to highlight the huge gap between actual reality and virtual reality?

After a few years I was fed up with being asked for a second name all the time, so I used a joke name, which was initially intended as a querying of identity, before I realised it was also permission for me to be well. That’s how I became Norrie May-Welby.

What are your passions?

Global sustainability and social justice. I’d like to think humanity has a good chance of surviving this century, but it seems the selfish interests of the mega-rich are opposed to this. While it gives me some satisfaction to think of them slowly perishing on Mars long after the people who cleaned their houses on Earth are dead, I’d rather not have most humans wiped out by disasters of our own creation.

What do you believe is the greatest legacy you have given to Australia’s gender diverse communities?

I think that my legacy gets decided by other people after I am dead, I may like to think it was the High Court of Australia case of 2014 that abolished the presumption of sex being always binary (that is, either distinctly male or distinctly female), but it may be that most people remember me simply as the anonymous source of bubbles that changed a dreary day for them. But of course it would be sweet to think that eventually the imposition of binary sex or gender ceased to be a factor for future humanity.

Where do you see the trans community going in the future?

Anywhere they want to go! In a decade or so, being transgender will be as un-noteworthy as being left-handed – statistically unusual, but often unnoticed. Children will be able to access appropriate puberty blockers without having to go to court. And hopefully, with less adverse pressure and more acceptance, more transgender and other sex or gender diverse people will go on to have happy, full, and fulfilling lives, and less will fall to the life-shortening events that we used to suffer in the bad old days.

If you could go back in time and tell your younger self anything, what would you tell them?

Nothing. I’d like to, but I know young me couldn’t be told anything. I would not have believed how my life turned out unless I actually lived through it. The most I could say would be: “You will live through heaven and hell. But you will live.”

Life can be hard for young people dealing with their identity. Do you have any advice for them?

It’s everyone’s right, and duty, to be true to their self. Gosh, did you just accept the pronoun ‘their’ for a single person? You can’t substitute a more apt pronoun there. More advice? You do you, honey, and never think you’re on your own, you’re just part of a huge mass of bubbling cosmic soup.

Full Article: http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/national-news/new-south-wales-news/you-will-live-through-heaven-hell-but-you-will-live-non-binary-advocate-norrie/179534

Column as printed in Star Observer Magazine

Winning Awards at the Australian LGBTI Awards 2019

It really is an honour to be nominated for any award, especially one so prestigious as the Australian LGBTI Awards, I was already so happy with that – imagine my shock when my name was called as the winner of Inspirational Role Model of the Year, and just to add the cherry to my sundae, Wear It Purple won best Community Initiative.

Accepting my award Inspirational Role Model of the Year at The Star from reality tv star Tim Dormer and Ed Johnson of Bloomberg

I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge and congratulate my fellow Wear It Purple Board Directors – President Ross Wetherbee, Vice President Marc Field, Treasurer Alex Stefan, Secretary Gemma Allen, Brock Galway, Robbie Robertson, Pete Foley and Brenna Harding.

Wear It Purple is driven by our youth, I would like to also acknowledge the hard work of our Youth Action Council and Executive Committee who have worked tirelessly through the year to empower and bring hope to rainbow youth across Australia, we dedicate this award to you.

The Wear It Purple team after winning Best Community Initiative/ Charity Award from left to right: Rose Werle, Zac Murphy-Draper, Katherine Wolfgramme, Ross Wetherbee, Alex Stefan, Marc Field.

I would like to also acknowledge past president Matt Janssen for his tireless efforts last year.

It is very important to also thank our former Wear It Purple Patrons who paved the way and opened doors for our organisation Dr Kerryn Phelps and her wife Jackie Stricker Phelps.

It was really wonderful to see other strong trans people win awards in other categories including Mama Alto for Best Artist, Jordan Raskapoulos for Local Hero and Georgie Stone for Hero, it was a great day for trans visibility, and high time that gender diverse people be finally acknowledged for their contributions to our wonderful LGBTI Community.

Katherine Wolfgramme, Mama Alto and Jordan Raskapoulos

Accept Thyself

Nearly 3 decades ago, I took the step of allowing my true self to come forward and I have been happy and whole ever since.

The most joyous decision any human can make is to accept and embrace themselves and never apologise for who you are.

The Gender Whisperer speaks with Dibs Barisic Sprem

For this month’s Gender Whisperer column, Star Observer’s Katherine Wolfgramme speaks with non-binary, transmasculine personal trainer and writer Dibs Barisic Sprem.

An online personality test once described 23-year-old Dibs Barisic Sprem as a Labrador, a description they believe to be the shortest and most accurate. In their downtime, Barisic Sprem loves going on adventures with their dog, riding their motorbike, making “banging” playlists on Spotify, and dancing around the house.

When did you transition, and how did you decide on your name?

I socially transitioned to a close group of friends when I was 19, and was then on hormones a few months before my 21st birthday. My name was actually a nickname from childhood. One day, when I was around ten years old, I realised the initials of my long, Croatian, full name spelled out ‘DIBS’.

Being non-binary, do you feel you’ve experienced intersectional discrimination?

During my formative years I identified as straight, then as bisexual, then as a lesbian, and then as transgender. I certainly didn’t have a cruisy adolescence, but I also didn’t experience the same level of discrimination that a lot of other people have faced in similar circumstances.

How have people reacted to your gender identity?

I have had a large spectrum of reactions over the last four years, ranging from nonchalant to down right transphobic and spiteful. People tend to be very curious and very nosy for the most part. But I don’t mind speaking about all of the finer details because education and representation are the keys to removing fear and prejudice of transgender people.

What field do you work in, and how did you go about finding employment?

I like to say that I’m a jack of all trades, and master of some. For the past 14 months I’ve been a personal trainer, but I always have the odd casual job pop up. It’s my dream to be a professional queer and travel around educating people on diversity, inclusion, and kindness, so I dip my toes in speaking gigs when I can. With my current job, I charmed my way through the interview.

My interview skills are partly due to the massive amounts of confidence I got through being a Pinnacle Foundation scholar. The Pinnacle Foundation scholarships are for disadvantaged LGBTIQ youth who are completing their final year of high school or tertiary studies in a private or public institution.

Are you working on any projects this year?

Yes! Mardi Gras season is going to hear my voice a lot. I’m speaking at Carriageworks on February 23 at ‘My Trans Story’, and I shared a different tale at Queerstories on February 9 at Riverside Theatres. Be there or miss out on some beautiful moments.

Do you think it’s easier to be trans for your generation?

One hundred per cent, yes. The stories that I have heard trans elders relay are quite shocking and the documentaries I’ve watched are really hard to see. Perhaps some cultures who have had trans people seen as spiritual leaders for centuries have felt the opposite effect, as western society reinforces it’s views more and more.

But generally speaking, I think my generation is feeling somewhat safer to be out, depending on so many other factors of course. It’s crucial that there is more trans representation in the media, and in entertainment. As I said before, it’s harder to hate us when you know us so well. The less mystery there is about what it’s like to be trans, the harder it is for cranky people to flat out refuse to believe we exist.

Do you have a message for other non-binary people who are thinking of transitioning?

Trust your heart and your gut. There is so much support out there for you no matter where you live. If you have access to the internet, you have thousands of people waiting to help answer all of your questions.

Full Article As Published in The Star Observer: http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/national-news/new-south-wales-news/its-harder-to-hate-us-when-you-know-us-non-binary-transmasculine-pt-dibs-barisic-sprem/176829

The Gender Whisperer interviews Katherine Cummings

Article written by Katherine Wolfgramme and edited by Matthew Wade for The Star Observer Magazine.

For this month’s Gender Whisperer column, Katherine Wolfgramme speaks with trans elder, award-winning author, and trailblazing pioneer Katherine Cummings.

Katherine delivering her powerful speech at Transgender Day of Remembrance 2019

Katherine was born in Scotland in 1935, and transitioned in 1986, winning the Australian Human Rights Award for Non-Fiction for her autobiography Katherine’s Diary in the early nineties.

Despite rumours to the contrary she hasn’t sailed alone around Cape Horn, worked as a lumberjack, or modelled for Oscar de la Renta. She has, however, sailed alone around Bradleys Head, worked as a payroll guard, and modelled for Madame Lash.

How did you decide on your name?

I named myself after Katharine Hepburn, a strong, intelligent woman who campaigned for human rights at a time when it was unfashionable to do so.

What obstacles did you face transitioning that may no longer be barriers now?

I transitioned when I was fifty-one and went through gender affirmation. I had had experience in amateur theatre work, where I learned about makeup and various other skills that became useful later. The major obstacle I faced (apart from the loss of most of my marital family) was the fact that transgender people were not protected by the NSW Anti Discrimination Act until the mid-nineties. This made it hard to obtain employment, and my position as head of the Library at Sydney College of the Arts became redundant.

You are considered an elder by many trans people across Australia. What would you consider to be your greatest contributions to the community?

I’m surprised to hear I am thought of as an elder. I think I’m just old. I have contributed to change in some regulations. I managed to persuade the Immigration Department to change my name on my Naturalisation Certificate which had been contrary to their practice, and I did manage to persuade the Income Tax Office that electrolysis was therapeutic and not cosmetic as far as trans people were concerned. They refused to agree for four years but in the fifth year they conceded the point and refunded my previous four years payments. Both of these concessions became precedents for others to follow.

Next year will mark the 20th international Transgender Day of Remembrance. How have you played a role in Sydney’s event?

I joined the Gender Centre in 2001, and was asked to organise TDoR on behalf of the centre in 2003. I believe the day is a useful way to bring trans people together and to involve people of influence who may thereafter be inclined to work for the betterment of transgender welfare. We have heard keynote speeches from politicians, highly placed administrators, dedicated activists, and sympathetic influential police commissioners, as well as various individuals from the community who have brought their personal experiences to the fore and reinforced the need for an amelioration of the general trans condition.

What have been the greatest leaps forward for the trans community, and what do you feel is lacking?

In the legal sector the inclusion of trans in the NSW Anti Discrimination Act stands out and the subsequent attention given to transgender rights by the Anti Discrimination Board. The creation of Gay and Lesbian Liaison Officers in the police force has also been a move in the right direction, and changes to Correction Services policies have also improved the lives of a lot of incarcerated transgender men and women. Socially there have been significant advances, but there is still much to be achieved through education.

What are your hopes for the trans community?

I hope for the day when trans is accepted as a simple variation from the norm, to be neither condemned nor praised. I hope that research will continue into gender and sex diversity and that when truths are discovered they will be publicised, not concealed.

What advice would you pass down to future generations?

Do your best to leave the world a little better than you found it. Remember that you have responsibilities as well as rights and that the aim should be to centre the pendulum, not to push it far over to the other side. Remember that trans is not a closed society but a small segment of society as a whole and that we should aim to make it fit into society, not stand out from it.

Listen to Katherine’s powerful and poignant speech from Trans Day of Remembrance last year: www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/v714ub

As published in The Sydney Star Observer

View Online Article Here: http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/national-news/new-south-wales-news/i-transitioned-when-i-was-fifty-one-trans-elder-katherine-cummings/175203?fbclid=IwAR3xSbVz0T56RjOg23DpGbAKQ_Xl-NrvCja1HYuNQbxjShOXKoMGV0m4vGk 

Leitis In Waiting – Documentary, Sydney Premier.

Excerpt from the  Queer Screen Website:

You’ve heard of ladies in waiting, but have you heard of leitis in waiting? In Tonga, the smallest kingdom in the world, these indigenous transgender women have traditionally played a central role in society as attendants to the royal family. However, a recent influx of foreign evangelism has seen a rise in discrimination in this conservative island paradise.

Joey Joleen Mataele, a leiti of noble blood who founded the Tonga Leitis Association is leading the fight for equal rights. She’s a quiet force to be reckoned with; hosting the joyful and hilarious Miss Galaxy Queen beauty pageant, challenging the homophobic preachings of a US-backed Tongan televangelist, and addressing a United Nations panel on LGBTIQ rights.

From the team that produced audience fave Kumu Hina (MGFF15), this fascinating documentary is a rare glimpse into the culture of leitis (“ladies”) and their struggle for respect.

Sydney Premiere

“Leitis in Waiting is a true gift to the world – mesmerizing and unflinching” – Jeannette Hereniko, President, Network for the Promotion of Asian Pacific Cinema

Presented with Katherine Wolfgramme – Gender Diversity Consultant & Trans Awareness Training in Sydney

To read the full article, see trailer or buy tickets click on the link below:


Appointment to Ambassador of The Gender Centre


I am honoured and proud to announce my new role as The Gender Centre’s first official Ambassador.

The Gender Centre is NSW’s peak provider of services tailored to trans and gender diverse people.

3,500 Trans and Gender Diverse children, youth, adults, seniors and their partners and families were delivered 43,000 services in 2017 alone.

I am greatly honoured by this appointment and proud to serve this most precious of organisations in such a unique and special way.


Open Letter Written by me 4 years Ago

Even though I wrote this open letter four years ago, the content is still fresh and a reminder of how cruel the media can be when it comes to discrimination against transgender people.

Last week a beautiful young woman’s butchered remains were found dismembered in a very new apartment building in a well heeled suburb of Brisbane. Police found some of her remains boiling down in a pot of chemicals and the rest of her remains in garbage bags around the apartment. Her young husband fled the scene and his body was found shortly later after committing suicide.

The news riveted and shocked the nation. How could this happen in Australia? What is becoming of our country? How could a young woman, a human being be violated in such a grizzly and macabre way? We must do something about the growing domestic crimes against women in Australia.

The very next day, papers around Australia released front page news with headlines such as “The monster chef and the shemale”, “Cooked Shemale”, “Ladyboy cooked and eaten” -suddenly the beautiful woman was now a sex freak, killed by a pervert. Prostitutes and cannibals and sexual perversion.

The memory of beautiful Mayang, a human is reduced to dehumanizing headlines.

To many transgender people across Australia, the crime was greatly disturbing but the degrading labels of Mayang were sickening. The media does not care that to call a transwoman a shemale or ladyboy or tranny in Australia is like calling a black person the “N” word.

Even though the porn and sex industry use the word Shemale and Ladyboy in their product labeling to promote revenue, only a very small percentage of transwomen in Australia are in the sex industry. The media do not have the right to refer to us, a body people as shemales, or ladyboys. We are people, we are transgender women. We must be respected and accorded our human right to respect.

For too long we have suffered at the hands of men sexually exploiting us and sexualising our beauty for their own sexual perversion or sexual gratification. Men openly verbally abuse us in front of their friends to seem more manly. For this cycle to end we must stand up for ourselves and say we are not monsters, sexual freaks and porn stars we are human beings, we have a gender and you must respect us. We alone can say no, we alone can say we do not deserve this.

There is no specific federal law to protect us from gender vilification, which is what Mayang suffered in the media after her death. But we could change that, we could lobby to change the law so we are all protected across Australia, we have to start now, by saying “no” to being labelled so horrifically in the media. We must write in protest to newspapers, online blogs, politicians and rights lobbies, the change begins with us. It is our duty to contact friends who may be able to help or perhaps friend who have friends of influence. If we want the human right of protection from discrimination and vilification then we must ask for and demand it.

I urge you all my sisters to lay down your political differences and unite on this issue, what we do and achieve today lays the groundwork for a more just future not only for us but for the transgender community when we are gone. This could be our legacy for the future that we could all be proud of when we look back on our lives.

Let’s stand together and demand the respect due to us as human beings and refuse anything less of the media.

Mayang Pretsaryo

Transgender Day of Remembrance falls on November 20 this year, in Sydney it will be held between 6.30 and 8pm at Harmony Park in Surry Hills, all are welcome to join us as we remember Mayang and the many other Transgender People around Australia and the world who have been murdered through domestic violence and transphobia and neglect.

Facebook invite to event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/177722666499056/

First Trans Candidate in 15 years to run for Board Director of Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras 2018

Katherine Wolfgramme – Candidate for election as a Director of the Board for Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.

Katherine Wolfgramme is proud to announce her candidacy to the position of Director on the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras Board for the election at the upcoming AGM on October 27th.

While canvassing support, she encourages people to check their Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras membership status, renew or join by Friday 12th October at http://www.mardigras.org.au/become-a-member

As the first transgender candidate in 15 years to the SGLMG’s Board, Katherine’s reasons to come forward with her candidacy include, in her own words:

• It is time for a visible trans presence on the Mardi Gras Board of Directors.

• I believe in social equity and that a trans voice needs to be present at Board level at Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras.

• As a Director I would consult with the trans population – both binary, non-binary, gender-fluid and gender diverse and their relevant organisations/groups to help:

  1. Form a better understanding of trans culture.
  2. Ensure and promote true and proper trans inclusion and define what that inclusion would look like.
  3. Address the needs of trans people accessing services within the LGBTIQ community.
  4. Address the definitions of safe spaces for trans people within our the LGBTIQ community.
  5. Reduce the culture of patronage towards the trans population by being present at a decision-making level.
  6. Give voice to those whose voices are not always heard through inviting open communication with all trans people.
  7. Ensure the needs of the aging trans population are considered.
  8. Shed light on the hardships faced by trans kids, youth and help understand ways to support their parents.
  9. Put into practice what diversity and inclusion looks like on paper.

• It is time all trans people to be acknowledged for their true potential as human beings by being represented in all roles in society including leadership roles.

• As an adult, and upcoming elder, I have the social responsibility to send a clear message to our rainbow youth by being a positive presence and inspiring role model and showing them that all things are possible for their future, no matter where they have come from, no matter who they are.

• I am aiming to empower and set an example to all gender diverse people that courage is all we need to take our proper places within the Community.

• Help contribute to the easier accessibility for all community members to events.

• Contribute to the already exemplary record of good governance and financial stability of the current SGLMG Board .

“I believe in inclusion not exclusion, I believe an organisation born as a reaction to exclusion and discrimination should remain an example of tolerance and a beacon and celebration of acceptance, all members of the LGBTQI Community who work in any organisation and their allies should always be welcome and share in the Spirit of Mardi Gras.”

“In my advocacy I have sat on community committees, councils and advisory groups and I am the first transgender woman appointed to the Wear It Purple Board. – My track record clearly shows the spirit of my strong community service and my continuing intention to always do good for my community. Even in the face of adversity I will always endeavour to do what is right with the best of intentions. This is also reflected as my soon to be appointed official ambassadorship of The Gender Centre”

“Although in the past I have acted solely and on my own instinct, I do understand the responsibility of being a SGLMG Board Director and the importance of seeking counsel from all facets of the trans population, including elders, youth, conservatives, activists, friends & foes.”

“I believe I could make an important and valuable contribution to the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras Board as it is always a great honour to serve my community and this will present new positive ways through visibility.”

Katherine is a self-employed Gender Diversity Consultant and Trans Awareness Trainer. She has spoken on Panels with some of the most respected female feminist minds in the country from all identities and has been invited to speak at some of the finest corporate and educational institutions in the country. She also works for one of the most popular gay venues on Sydney’s Oxford Street on the weekend, which keeps her in touch with other members of our community for the last three years.

She believes good governance is the greatest legacy a Board can provide an organisation with; and her own research shows that for the past two years Mardi Gras has been excellent in all governance areas. Because of this Katherine would like to endorse for re-election these incumbent Directors and looks forward to working with them and the rest of the Board if she is elected:
• Jesse Matheson
• Kat Dopper
• Christopher Brooke – Treasurer

For any further contact, interviews or enquiries: katherine@wolfgramme.com

Gender Euphoria, a fascination with my own reflection.

I have always been fascinated by my own reflection,  I do not believe it is because  I am vain, I believe it is because I transitioned into a woman and during that journey I struggled so hard, and  I fought so hard to achieve my goal that I celebrate that now by cataloguing my evolution from the very beginning going now into aging.

You could say my Gender Dysphoria has become Gender Euphoria!

Many artists have tried to capture a part of me over the years, which has always thrilled and flattered me.

I wanted to share some portraits of me from over the years in different mediums and styles, there are more I may share at a later date.

I enjoy the process of sitting for a portrait, and I find what other people see in me so different to what I see in myself – and that can be very interesting.

Here are a few portraits by artists over the decades.

First painting I ever featured in was by former Head of Victorian College of the Arts and Artist Gareth Sansom, which featured in his retrospective in 1991 at National gallery of Victoria.

1999 photographic portrait by Cameron Muir for the cover of the Christmas 1999/New Year 2000 Capital Q Magazine Cover.

Photograph by Toby Black, Perth 2005

Header for my column in OUTinPerth Magazine 2007 – Image curtesy of William Ainger

Photograph curtesy of Club West 2008

Daylesford 2012

Pastel by Peter Kirk, Daylesford 2014

A casual sketch by my friend Glenn Hanson aka Candice Box, 2016

“E” in  the Creating Equality Campaign for the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras 2017, Launch November 2016.

Photograph by Brenton Parry – Image curtesy of Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras

by Ces Busby – image curtesy SX Magazine for Gay News Network

Fiji Mermaid – Untouched photograph by artist Yiorgos Zefirou 2018

Yiorgos Zefirou and I collaborated on a series of photgraphic portraits in the Grotesque Style in 2018, I enjoyed the process immensely.

Let’s Empower Together on Wear It Purple Day! Friday August 31, 2018.

Image Curtesy Star Observer

Wear It Purple Day is observed across Australia, the message is simple – If you support uniqueness and diversity in young people wear something purple on Wear It Purple Day to let them know they are not alone.

The mission of Wear It Purple is to foster supportive, safe and accepting environments for rainbow young people, the WIP vision is for rainbow young people to not be disadvantaged by their environments, and for their wellbeing to be equal with their peers.

Wear it Purple is committed to respect diversity and social equality.

The aim of Wear It Purple is to reduce bullying  and the feeling of isolation of rainbow and diverse kids in school by wearing purple.

The Wear It Purple theme this year is Empower Together.

This year NSW Police, Government NSW, City of Sydney,  NSW Ambulance, SES, Surf Life Saving NSW, Fire Rescue, St Vincents Hospital, Centennial Parklands, major national and international Banks, Airlines, Corporations, Sports and Schools across Australia are celebrating Wear It Purple Day across Australia.

WIP President Matt  Janssen writes “Wear It Purple  was founded in response to the alarming numbers of young people being bullied and harassed because of their sexuality or gender and identity, and were Ultimately taking their lives”

Around 2009/2010 great concern arose globally around the rise of cyber bullying and the young people committing suicide as a result.

One of these young people was 18 year old  Tyler Clementi  who was outed by his room mate online, as a result of the online comments Tyler  tragically decided to take his own life. Tyler’s situation was not singular with reports of young people experiencing the same situation globally.

“this needs to be a wake-up call to everyone: teenage bullying and teasing is an epidemic…and the death rate is climbing.” – Ellen de Generes  2010

Tyler’s death inspired Wear It Purple c0founders Katherine Hudson and Scott Williams to wear purple as a sign of support to all rainbow children and youth growing up different who may feel different or bullied or alone because of their uniqueness, this movement has grown nationally and internationally and continues to grow every year.

“Wear It Purple is a not-for-profit association that aims to foster supportive, safe, and accepting environments for young rainbow people.”  Matt Janssen – Wear It Purple President

This year the Wear It Purple Board Members are: WIP President – Matt Janssen, WIP Secretary Marc Field, WIP Treasurer – Mark Henry, and WIP General Board Members – Alex Stefan, Gemma Allen, Ross Wetherbee, Brock Galway and myself, Katherine Wolfgramme.

Our Wear It Purple Ambassadors are comedienne, singer and advocate Jordan Raskopoulos, actors Scott Lee, Lynne Mc Granger, and Harry Cook, Australia’s Young Person of the Year  Georgie Stone, Mr gay World Jordan Bruno, comedian Tom Ballard and LGBTI advocate Casey Conway.

If you wish to support Wear It Purple Day by wearing purple, buy merchandise, wish to donate, host an event on the day,  or seek further information here is the link: http://wearitpurple.org

The Problem With the Word “Tranny”

*Trigger Warning* In advance I would like to apologise to any transpeople who are triggered by the word "tranny", I have had to use this word to make my case very clear and I would like to warn anyone that will be affected to not read  the contents of this article.

This will be the very first and  last Opinion Piece I will publicly write about the problem with the word “Tranny“.

On Friday I was sent a legal letter from a property lawyer acting as a defamation lawyer on behalf of his friend – a certain drag queen by the name of Penny Tration, aka flight attendant Daniel Floyd, the owner of a business formerly known as Tranny Bingo.

The  letter  extolled a list of complaints the (misled but well intentioned) lawyer told me my actions to expose the word “tranny’ as an insulting and debasing word to transwomen had failed and the legal action I took (sending of legal letters to cease and desist using the word “Tranny”) wasn’t a legal action, “Tranny” was not insulting, also the former Human Rights Commissioner told Daniel he could legally use the word. I legally didn’t have a leg to stand on. The anti discrimination law didn’t protect me. The anti vilification laws didn’t protect me etc. And to remove the Facebook post shaming Mr Floyd. 

This letter was in retaliation to my exposing Mr Daniel  Floyd publicly  on Facebook for his decision to degrade my person by calling me a man and making fun of my proud pacific island lineage on social media  while being heavily intoxicated.

My interpretation of the question the legal letter posed to me was why should I be so angry? Who do I think I am? How dare I shame someone who disrespects and makes fun of me, a transgender woman on a public forum by shaming him in return? And why should I a transgender woman be surprised that he would disrespect me by calling me a man after running “Tranny Bingo” for 17 years and everything else he caused to debase and dehumanise the trans population? He who claims to “respect trans people”.

Of all his many years of cyber bullying others he has never been so insulted in all his life, the irony was not lost to me.

I fired a very rude letter back telling the lawyer  that all I wanted was an apology.  Daniel’s (property) lawyer (friend acting as a  “defamation lawyer”) told me he advised his client  that he could not apologise because that would be admitting guilt – he cannot apologise for calling me a man and making fun of my proud Fijian heritage because that would be an admission of his guilt. Even though he did it, and I have witnesses to prove it, interesting. And very bad advice.

The biased and ill informed lawyer also tried to point out that our disagreements were dividing the community and I was being selfish. And to stop it. I mean how dare I demand to be respected. How dare I show other trans people how to demand respect. How dare I upset the apple-cart by demanding equality?

It all goes back to that word “Tranny”, so I am going to spend the rest  of this post explaining why the word “Tranny” is so incredibly insulting to most transwomen in Australia and abroad.

Unfortunately the general public is often confused between transpeople and drag queens, some people cannot see any difference at all, and here lies the problem.


Transgender/Transsexual: Someone who identifies and has transitioned physically to the gender which is opposite to their physical gender at birth. Trans people most often permanently live as the gender they identify with. Some transwomen do drag shows for artistic purposes, but generally they identify as showgirls, not drag queens. The most famous Australian trans showgirl is Carlotta.

Drag Queen: A man who dresses as a woman for entertainment purposes aka female impersonator, drag artist, theatrical or  cabaret performer. Drag queens live and identify as men when not in drag. Drag is a traditional art form associated with gay culture globally. The most famous Australian drag queen is Courtney Act.

Female Impersonator:  An actor who is male who takes on a female character for artistic purposes. Australia’s most famous female impersonator is Barry Humphreys and his alter-ego Dame Edna Everage. Some drag queens identify as female impersonators but not all.

Transvestite: a person, typically a man, who derives sexual pleasure from dressing in clothes primarily associated with the opposite sex. Often referred to as a kinky pleasure rather than an identity or art form. The best known transvestite would be Dr  Frank N Furter from the musical The Rocky Horror Show. It is very rare for a drag queen or female impersonator to also be a transvestite.

The Trans Umbrella: Since the amalgamation of T with LGB, Trans has come to represent far more than just binary trans-men and trans-women which was historically the case. Trans now includes non-binary (people who do not identify as either gender) and a very small percent of the transgender population are gender fluid and gender queer (people who identify as every gender and enjoy and vocally celebrate confrontational labels such as tranny as a part of their identity). The best known gender queer person in Australia is Norrie. Some drag queens identify themselves under the trans umbrella and occasionally eventually transition. It is mainly young transwomen and many transmen who find the term tranny offensive, because 1) Young trans-women are exposed daily to the slur as a form of abuse, and 2) Many trans-men remember the misogyny they experienced before transition so understand the connotations of the situation.

Origin of the word Tranny

The origin of the word Tranny is very simple, Transsexual was way too long to say in casual conversation so we abbreviated the word so it was quick and easy, it was never a word we would use outside of the trans community but it was a word we could use to identify each other in a most casual but non offensive way. Nobody outside the trans community used the word twenty years ago. Tranny was never short for transvestite.



The misappropriation of the word “Tranny” was not sudden, it was eventual. Drag queens found it hilarious and fun to say, in fact around 1999 I remember they started calling each other trannies in nightclubs and bars in Sydney, they found it extremely naughty, funny and catchy.

Some entrepreneurial  drag queens, who were  female impersonators or drag artists – but definitely not  trans, decided it would be fantastic marketing for their drag bingo, two-up, and other events designed not for the lgbt community but the general public, after all, Tranny was so taboo and naughty. They were right, the branding did catch on. Their events gave the general public permission to not only use the word but also make fun of the drag queens on stage who were making fun of themselves – as trannies, not drag queens. For 17 years.

Permission for the general public to use the word was not given from the trans community, it came from the drag community.

Unfortunate Outcome

Two decades on and Tranny is universally considered to be a word which is a derogatory slang towards Transgender Women in most English language dictionaries.







The reason it is considered a derogatory slang now is simple, non trans people will use the word to debase a transgender woman if they are angry with her or they don’t like her, it is also used during physical and verbal abuse as if to justify their hatred and violence towards her. It is often the last word a victim hears before she regains her consciousness in hospital.

The word Tranny is now used as a weapon of hate towards transgender women.

Language is important,and language can hurt,  it has been used as a weapon to oppress others since the dawn of time.

Time and again trans people and trans organisations came forward to let Daniel know this was offensive to trans people, in public they would say “we are open to discussion” in private those requests fell on deaf ears.


Daniel and Tranny Bingo first gained media attention in 2014  because Indiana Edwards, a trans activist decided to take them on, she organised a picket protest and challenged them on TV and in the media – Even then, Daniel (dressed as his sparkly and fun alter ego Penny) said “we are happy to discuss this”. Unsurprisingly when the cameras were off nothing happened.

The media were very unkind toward Indiana, who was just trying to do the right thing.

One Tranny Bingo hostess wrote to me last November “I hated standing up for Tranny Bingo whenever a trans person would come up and complain to me, because I hated having to stand behind something I didn’t support, and the thing is I know you’re fine using the word if its used amongst sisters, but using it the way Penny was it was not ok because non sisters were using it”

A former  bingo hostess privately wrote in an email ” I have not been a part of those events for over 12 months and a lot of soul searching in that time has led me to the truth that if the word hurts so many it is not my right to use that word – its not ok”

Why I Took Legal Action Against Friends.

I entered Sydney’s drag community in 1995, I was a showgirl and did drag shows in clubs on Oxford Street, I have always loved and had the greatest  respect for the drag community because it is somewhere I have always belonged and been welcomed. Most trans showgirls within the drag community  don’t find the word Tranny offensive, even I didn’t until very recently.

In 2017 a young transwoman and member of the social group I was Admin for posted her outrage about a large sign saying “Tranny Bingo” outside a hotel in Balmain. She said she went in and asked to speak to the manager, she told the manager that the word Tranny was offensive, he replied it was ok because the drag queens hosting the event were “trannies”, she said no they are not, and she was trans and she was offended – to which the manager curtly said “The sign is staying up”.

Complaints continued to be pathologically ignored and the word that is so expressly insulting to many was displayed in public for all to see on a busy road. This may not seem outrageous to non trans people, but to transpeople who are regularly maligned and oppressed verbally by the word, this triggered not only bad memories but also sent a sense of dread and helpless outrage  through a community who were already marginalized and  defenceless. It was insensitive and  insulting to people who had already made their feelings very clear and had been pathologically ignored. This sign stood for oppression to many transpeople.

A new admin to the page of the group I adminned also posted something about it on our public page, he cited his outrage and his partner’s rage who also confronted the manager, I told him he couldn’t do that on the page because as admin we had to remain neutral, he would not back down so I deleted his post. I was very uncomfortable being placed in that position without my consent, tranny was never a word I personally had a problem with. That is until just before this incident when I was verbally attacked on Oxford St by a group of men hurling a string of abuses at me which included “f___ing filthy tranny, nothing but a stupid tranny, disgusting tranny you should be ashamed of yourself”. Those thugs left me quite unsettled, never before had I heard the word  “Tranny” being used with such hatred and violent fury.

Afterwards one of the senior  hosts of Tranny Bingo and former friend privately messaged me and personally thanked me for defending them, I said it was something that needs to be discussed to which she replied “we are always open to discussion”.

I realised then, that I had heard this dialogue four years ago on television, in newspapers and on social media – they definitely were not open to discussion, otherwise the past complainants would have been heard.

It was the sheer arrogance of a non trans person  telling transpeople where, when and if they would decide they were going to continue insulting them or not that I found most astounding.

The problem was none of the complainants  were known to the LGBT Community so their complaints could quickly be swept under a carpet or they could just be called  trouble makers and  their complaints were soon forgotten. Change could only happen if someone with a voice from within our community came forward.

So, I decided to do something about it.

Legal Letters

On my behalf, pro bono, three lawyers from Allens Linklaters, a major commercial law firm sent legal letters to all businesses advertising and holding Tranny Bingo on their premises and the owner of Tranny Bingo to cease and desist using the word because it is offensive and hurtful.

Allens Linklaters Logo

I was not going to nicely  ask a non trans person to stop using the word Tranny,  because the establishments and Daniel  Floyd had been asked very nicely for years to no avail. The other reason I did not ask was because the word did not belong to the drag community, it belonged to the trans population – because they were  the tran(nie)s.

Some older transwomen are proud to call themselves a tranny, they fought very hard to  exist in a time when they were not allowed to, and all power to them, but they generally wont accept strangers calling them that.  I too am a stakeholder of the word as are all other transpeople, I don’t have issue with transwomen wanting to take ownership of the word, if it empowers them then fantastic. But it doesn’t empower all transpeople, only a few, and to my way of thinking , you cannot own a word until it is taken possession of it from those who had hijacked it.

When I talk about ownership of a word think about the “N” word. Some Afro Americans have decided to call each other “N”s – but they wont hear of anyone else using the word.

There is also a parallel to “blackface’, white people covered in black boot polish and dressing up as afro Americans and making fun of themselves – they are not making fun of white people, they are making fun of black people. So too was tranny bingo, they were men DRessed As Girls calling themselves Trannies and making fun of themselves.

What I was demanding was very simple. I was demanding respect, which is the equality everyone is spouting about.

Again Daniel used the opportunity to promote his events claiming he was a victim and 17 years of tradition was at stake and the Aussie Battler was under threat, lapping up the media attention with newspaper,  online magazine and radio interviews. Attempting to confuse the public by claiming to be a transvestite. Even one of the hotels stated they would “fight on”.



A former Human Rights Commissioner told him he could legally use the word, that there was no law stopping him from holding the event, this is quite different to the Human Rights Commissioner telling him it wasn’t insulting or hurtful, or morally wrong.

There was definitely a furore on social media among our friends who didn’t, and shouldn’t have to take sides.

I had never been publicly called a troll, a bitch or a trouble maker before. I was called militant,a word Nazi and many other things from a piranha to a worm.

Quite Ironic considering for almost thirty years prior to this I was considered by the very same people to be  kind, beautiful, understanding, genuinely nice and always coming from a good place.

By some I was misogynised, by others demonised but most importantly by most  I was sympathised with – to them what I was saying made perfect sense.

The final Outcome

Whilst dealing with the stress of social media attacks and so many friends being furious with me for upsetting the apple cart, I remained strong and stood by my actions.

Gradually all the main organisations within the LGBT Community acknowledged that “Tranny” was indeed derogatory slang used to debase transwomen.


Everyone now knows this word is offensive, and when they use it they do so with the full knowledge that it is hurtful.

There are no longer any businesses in  any state in Australia hosting events using the word “Tranny”.

The trash media persists in using the derogatory slang in their headlines and that is to sell more papers at the cost of persistently dehumanising women within the trans community. But one day very soon they too will have to stop. It is such a shame that it will be under force and not by their own volition.

Language changes, some words that were once acceptable in polite society are now considered awful and inconceivable to most young people that these words could ever have been found to be acceptable in the first place. That is evolution.

I gave a voice to those people within the trans community who did not have the courage or aptitude or public profile to stand up for themselves, I bought this issue to everyone’s attention which was previously swept under the carpet for nearly two decades.

That’s why I sleep well at night, because I did the right thing.

Daniel at the end of the day also did the right thing, he changed the name of his bingo event to Gender Bender Bingo.

I thought it was over.

Hopefully one day we will make peace.